Mother's Day

Today, Mother's Day is a day for pampering Mom, for giving her chocolates and flowers and breakfast in bed.

Its origins, however, lie with Julia Ward Howe, the woman who wrote the Battle Hymn of the Republic. The carnage of the Civil War so distressed her that she called on mothers everywhere, as natural peacemakers, to prevent the killing of sons by other women's sons. In 1870 she proposed:

"That a general congress of women, without limit of nationality, may be appointed and held at some place deemed most convenient and at the earliest period consistent with its objects to promote the alliance of the different nationalities, the amicable settlement of international questions, the great and general interests of peace."

Needless to say, this general congress of women (a good 50 years before women were given the right to vote) never occurred. Some cities did celebrate the day for a time.

Anna Reeves Jarvis, some years later, recast the holiday as Mother's Friendship Day, in an attempt to heal some of the families split by the Civil War. Instead of being anti-war per se, the emphasis was on reconciliation and healing. But as the need faded with time, so did the holiday.

But then in 1908, after ARJ's death, her daughter Anna M. Jarvis revived a Mother's Day celebration in remembrance of her mother. And third time's the charm.

The anti-war message had been transformed into honoring mothers, something everyone could get behind, and they did. In 1914 Woodrow Wilson declared a national Mother's Day celebration. Commercial interests began exploiting the sentiment. Anna, who had lobbied for the creation of the holiday, now began to fight its commercialization. She wrote,

"What will you do to route charlatans, bandits, pirates, racketeers, kidnappers and other termites that would undermine with their greed one of the finest, noblest and truest movements and celebrations?” 

Jarvis's opposition did little to stem the tide of commercialism, and today Mother's Day is about a 16 billion dollar industry. The origin of the day as an anti-war effort are mostly forgotten.

Perhaps I am cynical, but I think the success of Mother's day is entirely due to that commercialism. Sentiment is easily commercialized. Reconciliation is tougher.  Our society treats reconciliation with suspicion; victims and perpetrators are kept apart, and divorce lawyers assume unending hostility between the parties. "Closure" is assumed to mean punishment, not reconciliation. Not something that lends itself to commercialization.

And the original proposal, that mothers settle differences to keep their sons from killing each other, is downright unsettling; it completely upends the political and economic order. Politicians don't WANT mommy telling them they should play nicely.

A sentimental Mother's day needs no importance other than remembering and honoring Mom. And, in true American style, just maybe spending a lot of money on her.